


Zinnia - I Mourn Your Absence

by gaysparkler



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: After Fenris leaves Hawke in Act 2, Angst, Hawke tries to cope, He has a small garden, Hopeful Ending, Language of Flowers, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Not quite happy, Some mention of injury, This takes place after Leandra's death until after the fight with the Arishok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 16:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14023818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaysparkler/pseuds/gaysparkler
Summary: After Fenris' departure and his mother's death, Frederic Hawke does his best to cope with his losses.





	Zinnia - I Mourn Your Absence

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the flower prompts on Tumblr: https://gaysparkler.tumblr.com/post/163215734595/flowers-and-prompts

After his mother’s death, Hawke bought flower seeds to make a little garden in his estate, even though his house did not have a vast terrain like in Lothering. He installed narrow planters by the window so they could have enough light as they grew. Time seemed to pass so slowly after his mother’s passing. Carver was away with the wardens and Fenris had left him a few months ago. The house seemed so empty. The flowers were an attempt to distract himself from the emptiness, trying to fill the house with colours and life once again.

Hawke planted the seeds in the soil, watered it and headed outside to go to the Hanged Man. Varric promised to cheer him up with a game of Wicked Grace and drinks. It was getting dark in Kirkwall, so he grabbed his staff to defend himself if ever there were mercenaries or just anyone trying to kill him. He walked in the town, finding himself in front of Fenris’ mansion. A sad smile stretched his lips as he remembered the first time he had visited the elf. Maybe one day, Fenris would come back. If he needed time, the least Hawke could do was to give it to him. Being the older sibling taught him that much. After shaking his head, he kept going until he arrived at the Hanged Man unharmed.

~~~

The flowers grew slowly. Hawke was eventually able to see three colours bloom, pink, yellow, and red. Hawke passed a hand through his long hair, then in his face, trying to wipe the exhaustion away. The tensions were building between Kirkwall citizens and the Qunari. Who knew what would happen? Of course, they would all ask his help. Sometimes, he was tired of the attention. He only wanted a quiet life with the man he loved, far away in the fields, and with his dog Vinsomer.

The flowers kept growing, day by day. Hawke tended to them with care, as if they were the thing he cared most about. In a way, they were. The yellow flowers reminded him of the Lothering sun as it was setting on summer nights, the pink flowers were for his dear mother, her favourite colour. The red flowers were for Fenris, of course. For the favour that remained tied to his wrist, hopefully as a promise that he would one day come back to Hawke.

~~~

After the Arishok’s defeat, the flowers were fully grown. As the extent of his injuries was too severe for him to stand, Hawke had asked Merrill if she could take care of his plants while he was recovering. She was happy to help, and even gave him a few tips of what he could do so they stayed healthy. His friends visited him when he was stuck in bed, except for Fenris. Maybe Hawke had been wrong, maybe Fenris would not come back after all. When Varric came to his estate with Aveline, Anders and Merrill, he asked Bodahn if he could kindly tell them to leave. He was now healthy enough to take care of his flowers by himself. They were about the size of his palm, now, their scent lingering in the air. He was right; they did add colour to the estate. He still felt like his house was terribly empty, however. As night fell, when Bodahn, Sandal and Orana were asleep, he grabbed a pair of scissors, cut one of the red flowers and stepped outside.

~~~

Fenris returned from the Hanged Man, pockets heavy from all the coin he had won, and slightly light-headed. The streets of Hightown were empty, but he still kept a hand on his great sword, just in case. An elf alone in Kirkwall was never safe. He made it to his mansion, but noticed something on his doorstep. A flower, as red as his favour, a zinnia. He gently took it in his hand and looked at it. He opened the door to his mansion, still holding the delicate flower. Unsure of what to do, but certain of who it was from, he found an empty wine bottle, cleaned it, filled it with water and placed the flower inside. One day, he would return to Hawke.


End file.
